The Double-Slit Experiment
The cloverfield monster calls a press conference to apologize for attacking Manhattan insensitively soon after 9/11. Monsters don't understand national tragedy or time. All a misunderstanding, he has since started a facebook page.
In early tests, only deep-sea welders and stenographers would get the handful of peppercorns. When repeated, peppercorns were taken by mongeese, certain birds and people partial to denim named Henry.
Be the first of your friends to like "Cloverfield Monster to host SNL." The longest friendship bracelet in the world is 49 feet. Leaving the maker, Carroll Jenkins of Bumblebee, AZ, lonely for giants.
After an appeal to Lorne Michaels, the cloverfield monster claims ignorance of geo-poltics. He admits his rampage was in poor taste then rawrs to a silent press, "Live from New York it's Saturday Night!"
In a double-slit experiment nobody gets the peppercorns.
Metamorphosis II: Son of Samsa
On track and field day, Gregor Samsa Jr., waking from an anxious dream, discovers he has been transformed into a monstrous tentacled squid. His mother makes him take a shower. School buses don’t stop for squids, he has to walk. Dry leaves and sand cling to his mucusy membrane and he is tardy. At lunch he pretends to be a hat to get closer to the cookies. He pushes thirteen into his beak-like mouth then feels sick and dry. Stretching tentacles can’t reach the boy’s bathroom sink. Floor tastes like urine. Has to crawl into toilet to keep from drying out. Toilet tastes like urine. Mr. Jenkins tries to use toilet, Gregor squirts ink in defense and narrowly escapes the lowering buttocks. He finishes last in all track and field events even hurdles. As a joke, Jeff throws Gregor instead of the shot put. He lands in terror on Teddy’s face. Suction cups leave panicked purple dime-size hickeys. Gregor has a crush on Jane, the girl with the lemonade hair. He tells her “you’re pretty.” She makes fun of his accent. Squids have three fragile hearts—so he inks her in the face and calls her a Nazi. He gets detention. Since cephalopods can’t ride the bus Gregor clings to the bumper. At home he won’t get out of the tub. He calls his sister a retard and tells his parents he hates them. When sent to his room, Gregor lies in bed hoping that in the morning he’ll be normal. He doesn’t know that squid don’t sleep.
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