I want to work in a mortuary.
Tickle toes and tags.
Jump out at people as they turn corners.
Boo, only me.
Paint clown faces on them.
Sit them around tables and have parties with them.
Put hats on them and dress them in fancy clothes.
Talk to them about my problems.
Pretend that they are listening to me.
Do you really understand? I might ask them.
Nod their heads up and down.
And when I am sick of them, they can take them away
and bury them.
Then I will have new friends.
I think that I am falling in love with Judge Judy.
It only started today
she laughed her little laugh
the one that shoots gently from the side of her face
And that’s when I knew.
How I would love to sit up there with her on the bench
Maybe we could hold hands.
Maybe I could place my hand on her thigh as she deliberated.
I could slam the hammer down and shout
ORDER, ORDER I SAY.
DAMN YOU. JUDGE JUDY IS TALKING.
Maybe she would sack the big black dude and let me do his job.
that one that shouts out the case number and calls the plaintiffs forward.
I could look at Judge Judy every day and smile my love into her.
She does scare me a bit though when she starts shouting
But I see a warmer side to her of course.
She is always fair and true and just and
That is such a rare quality these days
Especially for a woman
I had this strange desire
while I was on the train
to ask a woman
if she would lick my nipples
the more I thought about it
the more I realized
how odd that would sound out loud
so I thought about saying
“I have a strange affliction
my nipples taste of chocolate.”
“Do they really?”
She might say
“Oh yes,” I would say
As I lift up my shirt and hopefully let her suck on them.
“I can’t taste chocolate.”
“Keep going and maybe a bit faster, bitch.”
As my toes curl up
“No, I still can’t taste anything.”
“Shut up talking and keep licking.”
All rights reserved to Marc Carver.