I Only Have Sex
With Ladies Named Jean
This month's Hot Flashes contest was a monster success. We asked our facebook followers to go toe-to-toe with John Jodzio at what he does best--writing about doin' the damn thang with some fly geriatric honeys.
Write a flash fiction story that includes the phrase "I only have sex with ladies named Jean" and post it on the Paper Darts FB wall.
"I Only Have Sex With Ladies Named Jean" is the title of one of the short stories in our upcoming book Get In If You Want To Live by John Jodzio. The illustration above is a sneak peek of the artwork BILL FERENC designed for this story.
WINNER - 61 Likes
Now that I'm older and more refined, I tend to limit myself. I only read books by Joyce. I only drink bottles of Jameson. I only have sex with ladies named Jean. But when I must choose between Jay-Z and Zola Jesus, I play both. And when I must write short stories, the plot gets lost in poetry. I'm older; I'm more refined.
Runner up - John Jodzio's Choice
He cut a trail from the west as deep and wide as a dragoon regiment, cursing heaven and hell as he rode. Drinking whiskey straight from the barrel, he shot every lawman and criminal and threatened that the card players would be next if they didn’t cut him for the next hand. The farmers and merchants planned to hide their wives and daughters least the stranger defile their virtue. Hearing this, the stranger’s grin revealed two copper teeth. “I only have sex with ladies named Jean,” he bellowed and shot two horses and a dog in his fury. The three Jeans of the town were then offered up to the stranger, who had sex with each one in turn. He was quite good at this and gentle, too. Eventually, he left the town and went back to his life making denim trousers.