Other People Yelling
Thomas Patrick Levy
SEE THE GRASS
I spend all night banging on the walls. This is how I want to spend my time and sure there is a kind of magic in the walls. You see there are pieces of steel that I can rest your face against. In the summertime this is where you want your hot face. In the summertime you can break through the walls too and see the neighbors' bedroom, the laughing, the whispering. You know how quiet it gets when I want you to yell a knife wound. I am saying I WANT TO FUCK THINGS UP. I am rocking a bit, this is what a person would look like and that makes my whole heart another cliche. You see over the hills there are so many clear pools. You see the grass, you see my heart is made from green bricks. This is a part of a metaphor. I lose things in revision. You see I want to bend over a toilet and hammer out all of my problems. I want out now.
OTHER PEOPLE YELLING
I go to work and try so hard to be smiling. The bricks are everywhere and all night long they've been moved around. You see I can't always make your rows. You see sometimes I am somewhere else and in the morning when I am in the warehouse everything is wrong. I say EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE and you watch me. I say IN A WAY I AM MOSTLY ABUSED. Sometimes there are other people yelling but generally I am the only one. Generally I make so much more noise than you. The others are quiet. This is wrong because you make better noise. They watch me sweat and fuck. Around lunch time I keep moving bricks. I don't have any purple ones today. I say I AM GOING TO MOVE UNTIL IT'S TIME TO SLEEP. I say I AM GOING TO COME HOME WHEN I AM NEARLY FUCKING READY.
I PAINT THEM BLACK
When my bricks are real bricks I paint them black so that I can win the fucking game. I am a loser. One time I am alone in the grocery store wearing pajamas. This is the dream I keep having. I take a half-gallon of ice cream off the shelf of the freezer. I am so alone, feeling like a piece of shit. You see this dream is not a dream but in real life when I come home I say I HAD THIS DREAM WHERE I WAS ALONE IN MY PAJAMAS AT THE GROCERY STORE. I feel better knowing that there is the perfect shirt out there in the world. One day I will find the shirt and I will be completed in the morning when you wear this shirt all alone. You see in my dream really you are alone and naked in the grocery store. You see really I am alone painting purple bricks black, trying to forget about you.
Thomas Patrick Levy is the author of I Don't Mind if You're Feeling Alone (YesYes Books, 2012) and Please Don't Leave Me Scarlett Johansson (Vinyl 45s Chapbook Series, 2011). Google "thomas patrick levy" for more exciting information.
Illustrations by Tessa Binder.
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