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Franklin's Lesser Aphorisms

Franklin's Lesser Aphorisms

Jay Orff

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A penny saved is a penny that never really gets to have much fun and so, ultimately, it becomes an angry penny, so a penny saved is often mean.

By failing to prepare, you fail to prepare dinner.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man completely unaware of constellations (unless, of course, he studies them during the day which isn’t quite the same although many people have studied far off lands, dead languages, etc., that they never knew firsthand without any particular hindrance, perhaps).

A great country, like a great cake, is forever being frosted.

Admiration is the granddaughter of misunderstanding’s cousin, desire, who is married to injury.

The discontented man always looks like he has something to say.

If you would know the value of money, try to make toothpaste from it: grind it up and rub it on your teeth. See what that does for you.

Dishonesty is the best policy for puppets.

Industry need not wish, but finance may want a new pen, and thrift is always asking for something.

No nation was ever ruined by toast.

God helps those who help themselves to God’s pants and other things, like his shoes, for instance. So clearly God is kind of gullible.

He who composes himself is wiser than he who composes a sonnet about talking pigs. Or one about clocks. But he who composes a sonnet about the mighty oak, he is much wiser than whatever that first guy did.

Hide not your talents; cut them into reasonable portions and sell them openly in a street market with garlands of rosemary and wear a big hat.

Hear Reason or she’ll start screaming, “Take that dog for a walk right now!”

The man who knows what he wants is going to order first, which is fine because I’m still deciding, thank you.

If we do not hang together now, maybe we will hang together later.


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