What’s it like to be in a Literary Death Match, Minneapolis/St. Paul Edition?
I suppose you wonder what it’s like to be in a Literary Deathmatch, Minneapolis/St. Paul Edition. No, sure, many of y’all have been to a Literary Deathmatch, Minneapolis/St. Paul Edition, and some of you have even skillfully written of what that’s like. But precious few have ever actually participated. To describe it … well, it would be like describing making love for the first time, or relating what it was like to kill a person or animal that you hated. You might say what it felt like, the anticipation, the nervousness, the fumbling, groping hands, the brief ecstasy, the embarrassed relief at it being over, and the sinking feeling that you now have more dead horse on your hands than you could possibly fit on your bike. You could say all that, and it would all be true, but something would still be missing in the retelling.
Still, what’s the use if we don’t try, right? I would hate for the next contestants of a Literary Deathmatch, Minneapolis/St. Paul Edition to step in front of the microphone and be totally, utterly unprepared. You shouldn’t be up there just wondering where to squeeze, you know?
The obvious analogy, of course, is to Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome. I’m assuming everyone has seen it, yes? Any one of the Paperdarts women could take the place of Aunty (Tina Turner, duh), Todd Zuniga would be the elfin Master, or maybe the ringleading Dr. Dealgood, and Brian Beatty, obviously, is the hulking Blaster. Seems pretty straightforward, right?