Another dose of unnecessary honesty: house parties make me nervous. I'm always worried that the cops are going to come, or something shady is happening behind every closed door. I feel terrible watching the couches, dishes, and walls of the host's home get ruined. Also, everyone is so loud, and all I can imagine is how bummed the neighbors must be that one: they weren't invited, and two: they can't just have a quiet night at home to watch Jeopardy! and drink Schnapps.
However, you know what I love? Bar parties. It's like there's insurance on your good time. There are always a ton of people to talk to who generally aren't skeevy neighbors who just slipped in to steal some brews and threaten to call the cops. The bathrooms are cleaner, and usually can accomodate more than one person at a time. If there's a band, then there's usually dancing, or at the very least some synchronised head bobbing. Still, what if the bar is stacked with lame-os? What if the band sucks eggs? Alright, fine. Bar parties are good but not great.
You know what's better than a bar party?
A freaking launch party! With a launch party, you have all the good parts of just a regular bar party, plus other righteous stuff.
• At a launch party there is a group of people working to make sure you're having a killer time.
• You can rest assured knowing that the band is great, because they've been hand selected by people who have awesome taste in just about everything.
• If you're at a launch party, you're there because you are excited about the thing being launched, which means that you are at an event with gobs of people who share at least one interest with you. This greatly increases your chances of making new friends (or getting laid), or reconnecting with old friends with whom you have lost touch due to the insane hustle and bustle of the word-a-day world.
• You're probably going to have your photo taken, and you've been looking good these days.
While I can't promise that you'll get laid, reconnect with old friends, or have that much in common with the diverse crowd of fans that John Jodzio's work whispers filthy things to, I can promise that you'll have a fantastic time on Saturday at the Get In If You Want To Live launch party. How can I guarantee that?
One: John Jodzio will be there. He's going to schmooze (maybe with you!), read one of his stories, and walk around looking dapper as all hell.
Two (as if you needed another): You can buy his new book before anyone else (or pick it up if you pre-ordered). This book is the whole reason for the party, duh! Buy at the party, read it awkwardly in the bathroom at Honey, and then display it proudly on the way home, making sure to quote it loudly, and randomly, eliciting jealousy from every passerby. (If they aren't jealous, make them sorry that they aren't...if you catch my drift.)
Three: Good tunes! Joey Ryan & the Inks will be performing. When's the last time you saw a LIVE band? Last weekend? Oh. Well, when's the last time you actually enjoyed seeing a live band? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Four: You will be able to gaze upon the ladies of Paper Darts. They sure are purdy.
Five: There will be a raffle, but not just any raffle, a raffle to win an original painting by Jennifer Davis—her illustration of John Jodzio's story "The Bear." Winning feels great. Raffles are always fun. If you're the winner, make sure to rub it in the faces of everyone else at the launch party. Then it'll be like winning two prizes.
Six: You're a fun-loving, free-spirited child of the millenium.
Seven: Ain't no party like a Paper Darts party, cause a Paper Darts party don't stop.
(Also, it's free.)
Saturday, October 15th at Honey Mpls, 205 East Hennepin Ave.